Relationships in College

What is it with all these couples hanging around campus? It makes me sick. I just don’t understand why they are wasting time with each other. Everybody knows that college relationships don’t work. Right? So shouldn’t we be more focused on the real reason of being here in college – to get a good education?
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First of all, let’s get one thing straight. If this issue is really making you sick, then you definitely might want to go get that checked out. Stay healthy my brother.

It’s very difficult to maintain a romantic relationship in college. Many, if not most eventually fail. Why? Because college is a time for maximizing your potential for success and for developing your personality as an individual, a.k.a. “finding yourself”. You and I both know that the academic side of college is stressful even without the addition of trying to have a social life. So why do people even try to do this girlfriend/boyfriend thing? The answer is quite simple and is rooted in psychology. I’ll take this time to do a little teaching. Here is my theory.

Assuming that most of the students you see around campus are freshmen, the people you are referring to have just broken out of the adolescent stage. Adolescence is a stage at which we are neither a child nor an adult; life is definitely complex as we attempt to find our own identity, struggle with social interactions, and grapple with moral issues. According to psychological theory, freshmen (aged 18-19) have just begun their first stage of adulthood. This shift in stages also allows for and often demands a shift in which we form relationships with. In adolescence, we are introduced to relationships with peer-related groups. However, we seek more intimate relationships and “love” when we cross over into the adult phase.

Because freshman fall into this transition period, they are more apt to seek out intimate relationships with the great amount of opportunity made available to them during their first few months of college. Put a school full of freshman girls right next door to a school full of freshman guys experiencing this same emotional transitions and you’ve got a formula for some intense connection.

Also, take into consideration the fact that freshman year is a time to get acquainted with the people and environment with whom you will spend the next four (or so) years around. With all this in mind, there is no question that you should see guys and girls all “hugged up” around campus.

But it’s not that they aren’t focused on their studies, although too much “huggin’ up” will most likely cause neglect of academic work and lower performance (its proven!). It’s simply because they are just going through this transition period. As these freshmen mature and grow into the adult phase, which lasts until about 35 years of age, the need for this exploration and intimacy amongst peers will decrease. You don’t see many juniors and seniors engaged in this activity because they have adjusted to the collegiate environment and no longer crave the social interactions as do underclassmen. By the upperclassmen years, usually students are gearing up for long-term status relationships (if anything). Well, actually seniors are too busy trying to graduate for all that mess. But overall, it’s a psychological thing.

To wrap up, I just want to point out that there are pros and cons to any argument about college relationships. It is all relative to the people involved. Some work, some fail. Some people are just looking for easy sex; some people give in to them easily. Overall, don’t chastise people for being in a relationship. Respect the fact that it works for them.

Now, if you’re just angry because you can’t get a girl yourself, then brother… we might need to have a talk about some personal problems.